Bummed

A couple of days ago I found out about the grant. I guess you are only notified on September 1st if you actually recieved funds. I however was not chosen to recieve the Women in Film Finishing Fund Grant. Sigh, it's a good thing I've been working my ass off this summer saving up money because I'm going to need all of it for post production which I've already committed a lot of funds too. My parents have generously offered a loan, but I'm hoping that maybe I can somehow swing the costs myself. I've reconciled myself to the loss of the grant money now, I mean it's just money. What I'm having more trouble getting over is not being recognized. I always thought that the money would be awesome, but that to have recieved a prestigious grant would really be a feather in my cap and lend me some of the legitimacy and acclaim that I crave. I am by no means someone who needs constant approval or recognition (If I did I would have given up on film a long long time ago) But it certainly is nice to be recognized, and there is also the idea that when someone or institute with power recognizes and awards you that soon others will follow. Not because people are sheep, but because sometimes we need someone else to go first to give us the courage to stand up and say, damn it that person is a talent or deserving or even just really determined.

Anyway, in lighter news Sound edit is proceeding and the music is turning out fantastic. I just have to find a studio to do my music recording that's cheap enough for me to afford. And I have a mini ADR (Additional Dialogue Recording) session today which will reunite me with my actors. So full steam ahead cause the train's gone full throttle out of the station and there is no way to stop it now.